Why You Do That Thing You Swore You Wouldn't (And Why It's Not Your Fault)

We have all been there. It is Sunday night. You have your shiny new meal planner out, you have meal prepped enough kale to feed a small army, and you have sworn on your life that this week is going to be The Week.

You know exactly what to do. You have read the books. You have listened to the podcasts. Logically, you are fully equipped to smash it.

Then Wednesday hits. You are tired, your boss sent a passive aggressive email, and suddenly you are three episodes deep into a reality TV binge with a bag of crisps, wondering why on earth you can’t just stick to the plan.

Here is the truth, and I want you to really hear this. You are not broken. You are not lazy. And you certainly don’t need another lecture on discipline.

The Knowing vs Doing Gap

There is a massive difference between knowing what is good for you and actually doing it. That gap? That is where your subconscious mind lives.

Neuroscience tells us that about 95% of our brain activity is subconscious. That means only 5% of your day is run by your conscious, logical, goal setting brain. The other 95% is run by an autopilot system that was programmed years ago, mostly during your childhood.

Think of your conscious mind as the captain of a ship, shouting instructions. But the subconscious mind is the crew in the engine room. If the crew believes the ship is heading into dangerous waters, they are going to steer the ship the other way, no matter how loud the captain shouts.

Safety Over Success

Your subconscious has one primary job, and unfortunately, it isn’t to make you happy, wealthy, or fit into those jeans. Its job is to keep you safe. And to the primitive part of your brain, safe equals familiar.

If you have a deep seated belief that “visibility is dangerous” (perhaps because you were told to be quiet as a child), then trying to launch a bold new business idea will feel like a threat to your nervous system. Your conscious mind says “I want success!” but your subconscious screams “Danger! Hide!”

So, you procrastinate. You doom scroll. You find busy work. You do everything except the thing that makes you visible.

This explains why habits are rarely just about the habit itself. You aren’t eating the chocolate because you are weak willed. You are eating it because it provides a familiar chemical hit of comfort when you are feeling unsafe or stressed.

How to Bridge the Gap

Trying to force change with willpower alone is exhausting. It is like holding a beach ball underwater. You can do it for a while, but eventually, your arms get tired and that ball is going to launch itself into your face.

To create lasting change, we have to go down into the engine room and have a chat with the crew. We need to update the safety manual.

This is where belief work comes in. It is about identifying those old, dusty beliefs like... “I’m not enough” or “Success is hard” and gently replacing them with something that supports who you want to be today.

Start by just noticing. When you find yourself doing that thing you swore you wouldn’t, pause. Instead of judging yourself, get curious. Ask yourself, “What is this behaviour trying to protect me from?”

Awareness is the first step to taking your power back.

If you are ready to stop fighting your own brain and start updating your programming, I would love to help you dig a little deeper.

Explore Belief Coding® with Faye