What Nervous System Dysregulation Actually Feels Like in Real Life

I'm just gonna jump right in deep and say let's have a proper chat about what nervous system dysregulation actually feels like. 

Not the textbook definition but the nitty-gritty, Monday type feeling reality of it.

You know the feeling right?  

Everything feels heavy, overwhelming and a bit meh!  Yeah, that one.  I call it wading through soup or sometimes treacle.

That's your nervous system trying to keep you safe in a world that feels a bit too much.

I like to talk a lot about being in the messy middle.  It could be the messy middle of a day/week/month, and emotion, an energy slump or being stuck on something practical in life or business.  Anything really where it's not quite going to plan.

You see I love figuring things out.  I'm the Jessica Fletcher (Murder She Wrote - Love that show!) of self and business development.  Not with a 'you need fixing' vibe but if there's something you want to work on I'd love to be part of it.

Dysregulation is common in the messy middle and it can be more subtle than you think.  It doesn't necessarily mean a full blown panic attack though it could be.  It could just be a day that feels more grey than usual.  Feeling unwell.  Feeling lacklustre.  Maybe a bit more snappy or sad.  Probably feeling like you've got a case of the f**k its.

The High Speed Chase (Sympathetic Activation)

When we talk about "fight or flight," we have the moments were our brains think we're running from a tiger but in modern life, that could be a meeting, a pile of laundry that won't end, the kids, your partner.

When you're stuck in this state, it feels like:

• Everything is urgent. You're zooming around the house like Speedy Gonzales
• Your Irritable AF. The sound of your partner chewing makes you want to scream let alone the fact they didn't empty the dishwasher.  The kids are doing everything to push your buttons and let's not get started about work.
• Racing thoughts. Your brain is whirling.  The overwhelm creeping in as you're trying to think about and do, too many things at once. 
• Physical tension. Your shoulders are so far up to our ears they may as well be earrings.

You aren't a grumpy person and you're questioning why you feel this way.

This my friend is what it's like when you're hyper-aroused. 

Your body's pumping you full of energy to fight a threat that doesn't exist but making you think it is the to do list that's causing it.

The Emergency Brake (Dorsal Vagal Shutdown)

This is one I think can get talked about less, but honestly? It's where so many of us live. This is the "freeze" response. If the Sympathetic state is the foot on the gas, this is foot on the brake.

In real life, it looks like:

• Doom scrolling. You aren't even enjoying the content, flicking and flicking, you're just numbing out and trying to take your mind off it.
• Brain fog. You walk into a room, forget why you're there three times in a row and you're pretty sure you are losing you marbles.
• Social withdrawal. Replying to a text feels like climbing Everest.  That brunch you agreed to, you'd rather just sit on the sofa in your PJs
• Heavy limbs. It literally feels difficult to move your body as you're carrying the emotional weight in your body.

Recognising this state is important.  The judgement will try to flood in telling yourself your "lazy" and "unproductive".  We can feel this even more if we flip between the two states.  I've certainly been there.  Now I like to say " Ah, I'm in a freeze mode" or "Looks like it's time to charge the battery"

Navigating the Messy Middle

So, what do we do when we realise we're oscillating between wanting to fight everyone and wanting to hide under the duvet? We start small. Trying to "fix" it overnight and fighting against how you're feeling won't help.

I know it's uncomfortable.  It's confusing. It's frustrating and you can feel completely lost at what to do.  I fought my dysregulation hard as it was so damn confusing but regulation isn't about being calm and clear 100% of the time. It's about flexibility. It's about noticing how you feel in your mind, body, energy etc

You're likely going to believe there's something wrong with you, might question if there is a health reason, such as, peri but it could just be your nervous system doing its job as your navigating the messy middle.   You're a human and we only have so much capacity.  Sometime we forget that or maybe circumstances of life make it 'harder' or get in the way.

If you're ready to start sleuthing your own patterns and finding a bit more ease in the chaos, I've got just the thing to help you start.  Click below and message me the words 'Get started'

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